Thursday, August 13, 2009


I think ADHD is the most depressing thing I have ever had to deal with. For me, ADHD is like a demon that has taken hold of my sweet Teenybop, refusing to release her.

My sweet, beautiful angel child is no more. She has become a terror, a child who thrives on conflict, who is angry often and kind rarely. There is one person in her life who receives gentleness and love from her, she is so sweet and kind to little Piglet.

But Fiance and I? For over a year she has treated us and almost everyone around her with increasing disdain. She is disrespectful with a terrible smart mouth and no fear of punishment. She doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks or feels anymore...

And sometimes I sit and cry for the child I seem to have lost. I miss the child who gave sweet hugs, and I dread each bad day we have with the new Teenybop who turns away loving words and gestures, who wakes each day determined to stir up trouble and is not satisfied until the people around her are angry or upset.

We have an appoinment the next week to go over her evaluation and see if we get a diagnosis. I am sure we will, but then there is the new drama ... Which medication ... And how much to dose? What about side effects?

In the end, I am ready for whatever is coming, ready for the medication experiments, ready to deal with whatever comes. I just want my angel back ...