Thursday, April 15, 2010

Right Now

Right now I'd be curling up beside him on the couch to watch television together. Right now because our children are both tucked in, we'd be sitting down, he with a soda and me a glass of water. We would have had dinner but the kitchen would not be cleaned yet. It isn't cleaned right now either because I am busy blogging about it.

Right now I'd have my feet curled up under him while I read blogs and watched whatever he wanted on tv. I'd probably be frustrated because evenings here are hectic, he'd be quiet, staying out of the line of fire and processing the day in his mind. He'd have a scruffy face because he hates to shave, he'd be telling me it's way too cold in here, and I'd be able to reach out and touch his hands, his face, curl up beside him in the crook of his arm.

Instead, I don't know where he is because I haven't heard from him today. He doesn't know that Piglet seems to be feeling better, he doesn't know that Teenybop did better today too. He will when I talk to him, but right now I miss my man. I feel a loss for the evening we would have shared.

But there is still the positive side of me, the side that is thankful for this time and the different ways in which it will fix problems within our family unit. Having him gone makes me miss him terribly, and while I wish I could curl up beside him on the couch right now, I also admit that without this absence my frustrations over the day-to-day would have kept me from doing it even if he were here. I am thankful that Teenybop misses her daddy so fiercely because without this absence she and he would be fighting over every little thing since they are so alike that it causes them to clash. They both under appreciate each other. I miss him, but I know that having our family broken apart and spread out like this for a while will make things so much sweeter when we are together again.

He's calling!!!!!!! Gotta run ...