Friday, June 4, 2010

Where's Michael Weston When I Need Him?

The story between Ex-Husband (Teenybop's biological father) and I is a long one. In a dramatic light, it is full of drug addiction (his), violence (also his) and fear (mine of course). In a non-dramatic light ... long story short ... I left him because he chose to continue his drug habit. I left him because he persisted in leaving drugs scattered around the house even after Teenybop was born. I left him when I found out that he had been dealing also, that he had been the "middle man" in some deals, and I began to fear that my innocent child or myself would get caught up in a deal gone wrong.

He didn't make any effort to fix things. He didn't come when he was scheduled to visit the baby. When he did come, he would pay her virtually no attention whatsoever. The last time he came to my house to visit her, she was a two year old towheaded beauty. She sat quietly playing in his lap while he ignored her and caught me up on the business of his various family members. I listened for a bit but as I watched her play without his attention, I became furious and I told him that since I had left him, I didn't care what his family was up to. I told him that I didn't have to care anymore, that I no longer wanted to be his wife or have anything other than our daughter between us. I told him he had been disrespectful of me so often and so many times that I wasn't even interested in his friendship, and that if he wasn't sitting in my living room to visit with his daughter, he was welcome to leave.

He left.

Recently we have finally taken the steps to finalizing my divorce from him (a very very long story I won't get into here) and child custody arrangements. Well, Teenybop is now six years old. She has not seen him since she was two. And now he wants to contest the suggested parenting agreement (which is actually much more sympathetic to him than I had wanted) ... he wants more visitation than what is offered. Which is interesting since he has previously shown no interest in visitation before. He may contest the divorce. I have been assured that he will not win, that I will have my divorce and that at best, he can be awarded supervised visitation pending his submission and passing of extensive drug tests. But still.

This puts quite a damper on things, considering that I was hoping for full custody so that I would have the freedom to actually marry Private Ryan and move with him to wherever the Army sends us. If I am stuck here for visitation purposes ... And really that's beside the point. If he is awarded even supervised visitation, it is a step toward the every other weekend or every other summer type thing ... it is a step toward my innocent child being taken into a family that condones drug use, incest, child marriage ... all of this I found out much too late. And I don't know what to do to protect her.

What I need is Knoxville's version of Burn Notice's Michael Weston. I need him to do the hero thing for me, I need him to be all big and bad and modern MacGyver and swoop in to save the day for my daughter.

And honestly? I wouldn't mind spending some quality girl time pouring out my heart to Michael's friend Fiona, either. Now she is a chick I'd love to have squarely on my side.