Friday, December 4, 2009

Do You Think I'm Beautiful ... When No One Notices

This section starts out talking a little about the character traits of a woman who grew up without being beautiful. The character of a woman who was unnoticed as a child. The author speaks of the negative thought process that can be inherent in the mind of a girl who knows in her heart that she is not beautiful and begins to give up on the things that life only offers to beautiful people. Then the book goes on to speak of the emotional journey that occurs in the the life of such a woman.

There are a few options of course, in this journey ... You can force people to notice you by acting out or being purposely obnoxious. You can "fake it till you make it", pretending that you love yourself thoroughly and that you know everyone should see you and find you captivating, even though you yourself may not believe that. Or you can blend in, pretending that you are glad not to be noticed. I think that there are far more women who fit the second profile than the first, far more women who just go through the motions in life, do what they "should" be doing, and convince themselves that being noticed is distasteful or unimportant. But we all know that's a lie. I doubt there is a woman alive who wouldn't feel good if she walked past a group of people in the mall and then caught them all staring appreciatively as she walked by. Because honestly? Probably that woman doesn't exist, no matter how good we all pretend not to care.

The author writes, "We long for romance. We long to be rescued. We long for a hero to steal us away. We long to be beautiful. Only now that we're grown, and hope has faded, the years keep proving that it's not going to happen."

But isn't that sad, that we grow up and turn into "adult" women without that God-given dream in our hearts? That we stop believing in fairy tales, and stop hoping Prince Charming will come and notice us? I think it's sad that we stop hoping for that, because I think we are meant to have that hope and that dream. And Angela agrees, she says, "Maybe no one has ever really noticed you either. And you've learned to pretend that it's okay. It's not okay. You were made to be seen and known and loved deeply. And it's okay to want what you were made for."

This book is really touching my heart as I work my way through, taking the time to listen to my thoughts (partly as I struggle to find coherent thoughts to create posts with, and partly as I just try to relearn my pre-baby ability to think deeply and understand my inner-most self). As I read I can imagine this author writing, perhaps crying a bit here and there as she remembers the life she led as a girl which ultimately gave her the ability to write this book. But in my mind I can also see her hope as she reaches out to millions of women around the world, hoping to restore not only their self-respect and self-esteem, but their hope and their belief in a God who loves and cherishes us.