Friday, May 21, 2010

In The Quiet, In The Still Of The Night

I have been "stumbling" over a lot of things lately that discuss quiet time with God. Things that discuss the typical requirements for "proper" quiet time with God. Time spent alone in a room that is silent save for the sound of thin bible pages turning as a highlighter furiously marks verses that magically stand out ... or maybe there is worship music softly playing on a harp in the background barely heard over the sound of thin bible pages turning as a highlighter furiously marks verses that magically stand out. Perhaps when the highlighter finally falls to the table, the reader will lay prostrate on the floor in prayer while the carpet beneath their face becomes soaked with holy tears.

Don't get me wrong. I have even played that scenario out myself a time or two ... albeit without the harp. I have highlighted bible verses like a fiend on days when it just seemed like God was showing me just what to do next in my life. I too, have slipped silently to the floor in prayer, though never on my face. I have cried out to God, both in praise and in pain. I have begged for holiness, I have begged for patience and for peace to overcome my spirit in times of great need. But I have also begged for little things like sleep, money, "just one" whole day that went well. But here's the kicker ... I have not always done those things all at once. But my prayers are not worthless to my God simply because they aren't perfect. He already knows I'm not perfect.

But just because my "quiet time" doesn't follow some precise formula doesn't mean I don't convene with my Father. I hear him speaking whenever I read here about a mother who is learning more and more about God daily as she raises her family. I learn more and more about what He wants from me and what He sees in me as I read other blogs, too. Other books. He speaks to me nearly every time I seek Him between the pages of the Bible, but I also hear him speaking when I watch this. Or this. And in those times, I realize once again that it isn't the "perfect" times that God wants. It is ALL the times. The times when my mothering isn't perfect and my shame over those imperfections drives me closer to him. The times when I just don't want to read the Bible so I beg God to speak to me another way ... and He does. You don't always have to "be still" to know that He is God. And when you're a mom, that's a good thing.