Abused

This is for all the women (or men) out there who are being mistreated in their relationships. I have a cousin who is going through a tough time right now in her relationship with her baby's father, and he's almost got her completely trapped with him and under his thumb. He takes all her money, he's got her sunk in debt, she can never totally stop seeing him because of their son ... and now he's threatened her to make her stay with him. Yet he's got another girlfriend. So here's my advice, and I've been there too, so I can tell you what it's like from being the one who's abused ... and from the perspective of one watching someone they love get pushed around (whether physically or otherwise) ...

This is something I found ... and she and her on-again/off-again boyfriend fit so well here ... Do you?

23 WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

(http://www.health-first.org/)

Physical or sexual violence may occur without warning. Sometimes, however, there may be signs or "red flags" that serve as warnings that abuse may occur. The following are examples of a person's behavior or personality that may be a warning that a person may be abusive. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship or be at risk for it. It is recommended that you speak with a domestic violence advocate.

1. Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?
2. Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "bitch"?
3. Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?
4. Does your partner get angry about clothes you wear or how you style your hair?
5. Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
6. Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?
7. Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?
8. Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
9. Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?
10. Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
11. Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
12. Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
13. Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
14. Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?
15. Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
16. Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets?"
17. Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
18. Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
19. Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
20. Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
21. Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
22. Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?
23. Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?

For more information, see http://www.health-first.org/

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you may be at risk for domestic violence. Seek assistance from National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (http://www.ndvh.org/)

Maybe you don't know me ... and maybe you are at a point where you think no one cares about you, and that you deserve what you are getting, what you are dealing with. Maybe you think that it's not so much that you deserve it ... but that it's all you're worth, it's all you can get. Or that you simply don't deserve any better. This is only what your captor wants you to think, and I use the word captor because that's what your partner is if you answered yes to any of the above questions. They are a warden ... you are the prisoner. Do not sit back and take this, do not allow yourself to be lost. Don't choose that life. Fight for yourself, you are worth it.

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YOU ARE WORTH IT.YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU ARE DESERVING OF SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AND RESPECTS YOU, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. DO NOT GIVE YOUR POWER TO SOMEONE WHO ABUSES IT. MAYBE YOU CAN'T TURN LOVE OFF ... BUT YOU CAN CONTROL WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT. IF YOU LOVE THE PERSON WHO IS ABUSING YOU ... DON'T LET THEM KNOW IT. THEY WILL ONLY USE IT AGAINST YOU. IF YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH THEM, IF YOU DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK, WHAT THEY DO, WHO THEY ARE, THEN YOU HAVE TAKEN THEIR POWER. TAKE IT. TAKE THE POWER OVER YOU BACK ... YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE HAD IT ANYWAY. LET NO ONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WORTHLESS, THAT YOU ARE LAZY, THAT YOU ARE UGLY, THAT YOU ARE LACKING OR LESS THAN ....

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BECAUSE SOMEWHERE, THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WOULD FIND YOU ASTONISHING, BEAUTIFUL, CAPTIVATING, DESIRABLE, ENERGETIC, FASCINATING, GORGEOUS, HILARIOUS, INVIGORATING, JUSTIFIED, KIND-HEARTED, LOVELY, MOTIVATING, NEEDED, OBSERVANT, PERFECT, QUICK, RADIANT, STUNNING, TRUSTWORTHY, ULTRA-CHIC, VOLUPTUOUS, WORTHY, XTRAORDINARY, YUMMY, ZEN ....

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT.

GET OUT.