These days I have been working on the way I see things, struggling to see life in a positive light in spite of the people around me and the circumstances in which I find myself.
It has been a struggle for sure. The Bible warns us that the prince of lies would rather see us down, negative, suffering. However, it also promises the love and assistance of Jesus, the prince of peace. But there is a war for my perspective, a war in which I am the prize. I can blog all day about perspective and positivity ... but living it is not the same. It's harder. It takes more work. And I can say with confidence that Satan isn't bothered by my talking. He is spurred into action in me and the various aspects of my life (including the people) by actual decisive action on my part.
And that's what I'm seeing in my life lately. As I remind myself of the instruction in Galatians 5 (verses 22-22), and I struggle against negativity in the effort to achieve a fruitful spirit, it seems that the downers in my life choose that time to multiply. I have doubts about my relationship that are in the forefront of my mind, worries about my parents reactions when I move away into army life, worries about my children and my shortcomings as a mother. I worry about Fiance's lack of motivation to bond with Teenybop and Piglet, and I worry about the almost constant conflict and tension between them.
But honestly? Most of those things are things I can't fix. Problems I have tried, and failed, to solve. Things I have struggled to give to God and let go of. In the end, they continue to be things that bring me down, and I'm not sure I can change that either.
But I can still work on my outlook. My perspective. I can remind myself to count my blessings, to try to see what I do have in spite of what I don't have.
So today that's what I'm working on.